High school

High school didn’t go so well for me.
Well… more like the end of high school didn’t go so well for me.
We all have that childish, unneeded drama and people in our lives back in our high school days. And I’m one of those people who has been through some stupid bullshit.
(I’m sure we all have that one friend who attracts drama like me).

So a old friend of mine asked me, “what if people from high school tried talking to you and apologized for the past and asked me what really happened?”

I guess I would say: I was by myself. I was going through a bad break up with my boyfriend and everyone chose his side. I don’t need friends who decides to choose a side. I need friends who understood the situation and know that it was just a bad break up. That’s it.

At the time, I was hurt that most of the people I was close to, or so I thought, chose my ex boyfriend’s side and believed his fake sob story. But as a stupid teenager, of course I cared about being alone and not having friends.
But I grew up to realize that I just wanted them to know the truth. And even if they asked me, ” how do we know you’re telling the truth?”

They’re right. How do they know if I was telling the truth. Exactly. They dont. They didn’t need to.

They just had to understand that there’s always 3 sides to the story. His side story. My side of the story. And the middle truth.
But hearing about what he said about me and everyone was surprised and didn’t believe it… well… at least mine sounded realistic. 

What’s also sad was…. I felt mature. I didn’t fight about it with people. I didn’t cry or made them feel sorry for me. I just sat there quietly as everyone left to comfort my ex boyfriend who’s crying and eve stole my cellphone to get my attention. 
Again… This was a long story. 

You guys, *meaning the readers*
If we ever met, I would love to tell you my life story and you can tell me mine.
Haha.

I’m a good story teller and a good listener.
Trust me.
If you dont, I still got my preschool certificates.
The good story teller award and the good listener award. It’s all brown and old haha.

20.

So I’m finally at the age of where I’m not really a teenager anymore.
I mean sure I can definitely be like a kid or a teen at heart but I’m almost to the age to where everything is legal and boring.

I’m sure you all have felt this way before.
Getting closer to the age, or 20 or 21, makes me feel like drinking isn’t as fun anymore when it’s legal (sounds weird but i know) and you feel like stopping to do some certain stuff.

Like as if you want to grow up a little.
I don’t feel much change except that I’m old.

I’m also thinking more of my career and future and how I’m getting to the half way point of my 1st semester of my sophomore year and before I know how, I’m sure i’ll hit my 2nd semester soon and my 3rd year will come around.

This also might sound weird, but yes, I’m at the age of thinking of getting married and being in a relationship.
Your true purpose of life is to reproduce and continue life as it is today.
So, I’m getting to the point of where I’m thinking about it because college flies and before I know it…

I’ll be possibly 22 or 23 when I finish college.

Damn. That’s scary. 

I’ve been very distracted lately.

Like I said on my last post I started school.
It’s Just been only 2 weeks since I started and I already changed off my french class to a communications class.

I also went through enlightenment to where I know what I wanted to major in, which is information systems.
I’m really into computer science and i want to stick with business.

Most inspirational speakers tell me that I will one day hit that moment to where I know what I want to do and I will fall in love with it.
And it happened.
I’m so grateful.

Also, that retail store that I worked at, yeah, I stopped working there after a month because the manager was just too rue to me and talked behind my back. I didn’t appreciate it. I reported her and then my friend offered me to a place to work, which is a CVS. Well it’s a way better pay than my retail job. But I also wanted to work possibly at an H&M.  (Apparently has a good pay) 
With school, I’m satisfied.
With my work life, I’ts getting there.

My love life. Ugh… It’s not exactly where I wanted it to be.
But I’m not looking too fondly over it.
The guy I like… at times he’s like a robot. Would it be bad if I just got really tired of him because I feel like he doesn’t really like me or cares for me?

Maybe he does, but like I said he’s like a robot. It’s always so hard to tell.
And he’s a man of weakness. He lets everything get to him.

The littlest things. From that, he can’t even handle or control his anger when there’s work and family.
He wanted to work on himself. But how can he do that if he just lets EVERYTHING gets to him.

How can he possibly handle me? 

Everyone is just frustrating me.
Feel so alone most of the time. People going to be around me and hanging out with me doesnt make me feel less lonely.

Well there you go.
I’ll be here again tomorrow because I have a lot of time on my hands nowadays.

By the way… my 20th birthday is on monday… yay…